Snuggies, Catheters and Early Mornings

Disclaimer: First off, I haven't been slacking on the blog by choice. Long story short- I made a Gmail account to make the blog account and I forgot the username. It's weird because I use the same E-mail name for most anything, but apparently when I started this blog I thought I was gonna be the coolest dude around and try something new. It worked about as well as a banana wearing pajamas. (And if there's anyone reading this blog that thinks bananas in pajamas work, the need to move on from the late 90s).

Now, on to the best three minutes of my life this weekend (Please don't judge the state of my life after I explain this).

There I was, sitting with J-Cuz at 2 a.m. on a Friday night watching some crappy movie on T.V. when low-and-behold a sequence of brilliant commercials began. First, the folks that run the advertising at the Snuggy corporation turned an info commercial into persuasion gold by panning people dressed in Snuggies doing the Macarena.

That in itself would of turned my medicore night into a night that rivals the night I saw the Crocs' commercial where they did Thriller, but it got better! Directly after the Snuggie commercial a Catheter company decided that enough of it's target audience was watching and they decided to inform the world on the process of purchasing sterile catheters for bargain basement prices! (Evidently the catheter industry has invested a significant amount of money, like $47 and a pack of Big League Chew considering the commercial's time slot, to combat the idea that it's okay to re-use one's catheter).

So there I was on what felt like the cloud nine of laughing at this disturbing sequence of late night commercials when the Television gods decided to bless me once more, this time with an Ostomy product manufacturer's commercial.

Quick Explanation: an Ostomy refers to the surgically created opening in the body for the discharge of body wastes.

Don't worry, I didn't know what it was either until I Googled it during the commercial. Needless to say there's nothing that moves that type of product off the shelf like scenes of elderly folk walking through parks and waiving off the public restrooms because they just made a giant purchase from this company.

J-Cuz and I didn't watch television for three days after this miracle.

Oh ya, I know why I'm always late in the mornings to just about anything. Sleepy me has no concept of how long it takes me to travel places. Awake me knows it takes 20-25 minutes to get to work in the morning, sleepy me is convinced I can exceed the speed of light and arrive in five minutes.

Conclusion: I need to quit watching Back to the Future as I fall alseep and it is time to sell the DeLorean.